Wonderings 12

When you have people older than yourself in your daily life it's quite easy to dismiss their thoughts on the world. Especially when you're young and full of positive energy for the future. You think life is infinite.

But what you should look at is, we're all steps to the top, each person that is older than you is the next step up on the journey to the mountain top. We are all the same but with each step up you can see a little bit more. This is why you should always listen to people older than you. Though I do admit what you see is down to your own wisdom, and age does not automatically mean they know more. But they have seen more.

The meaning of life is individual. I have always thought this. Now my thoughts have reached a conclusion - each person will go through a tunnel, this tunnel is the process of shaping who you are. You have to find your meaning to life. I went through a tunnel and popped out as a poet. It took years to get to the end. It's only now that I look back and realise I was on a journey through a tunnel. Now I can live my life as contented as possible because whatever happens to me, and I know there's some horrible things yet to occur, I will always be a poet. This is my meaning to life. What you need to do is find out if you're in this tunnel and where is it leading? We cannot have the same meaning to life due to the complex nature of personality and experience. Put the sinful stuff to one side for a moment, and think about who you are as a person and where you're going? Keep trudging through the tunnel. What you're meant to be will happen but only if you become aware.

You can study philosophy/spirituality your whole life. I do not aim to read these books to a Scholar level, I want these books to study myself.

If life is meant to be this fast go and sit by a tree and let the seasons show you how first we are meant to live. Trees slow us down. Sit by one, listen to your body breath,

I have been philosophy/religious books for months. Lately I have started to see a change. not in how I behave, but in how I react. There's a pause. The brain asks 'What's the best response?' If I let my ego in or the ape part of my brain, I will fall flat.

I have made many, many mistakes as a poet. The ego blinded me. Once I detached from the results of poems ie publication, I started to find my voice. Things will happen, but you have to know who you are. Even as a Human Being you have to know you. The less questions you have, the less you know, Increase the questions.

First line of a poem should be like a door ajar letting in some light.

Never show too much and give a broad hint of what is to come. A spine of light from outside the poem is enough to fill the reader with intrigue.

How you end a poem is the same as sleeping in a hot tent. You might leave the zip slightly up to keep the oxygen moving and allowing the heat to escape. With a poem allow the last line to leave something unsaid. Never tighten it all up and summarize

the poem. You have to let it breath, you have to let some words escape.


When you use words in a poem ask yourself are these the best options? You know if your light bulb goes and you scurry to town to buy a new bulb. Do you pick up any bulb or do you know what's best for your house? I think we all know it's the latter so have the same mentality for your words. Pick the best.

Writing a poem is the same as catching a fish with your hands. As you have that fish in your hands imagine the scales and fins breaking off. Eventually you bring it to shore and look at what's left. It's the same with a poem. As soon as you start writing a poem you are instantly losing it. Get what you can and see what's to be saved. Poems don't like to be written.

When I was younger I started off as an apprentice bricklayer. I knew deep down it was not for me as I am an introvert and love my own space. After going through college I learnt that in a wall every brick has its purpose. Each one is as important as the other. Make sure your words help each other too. No missing bricks.

Life always throws things at you. Sometimes you can fall to the ground or stand and cry. Bruises happen. Wounds take years to heal. Even ten months after leaving our previous house I still miss the garden and wood at the back. The allotment I was building. It takes time to recover. I may feel sad but what does that do? You can tell other people but they have their own life to live. Not everyone can help.


Sometimes helping yourself is more important it makes you prepared for the day you have to help someone.

Every day poets fill their brains with ink. In hope something pours out at some point. It's difficult to find where to place this ink but you must always be aware of it. You are never too far away from writing something

Flickering streetlights at night are the same as the thoughts you have in your brain. They never leave you. Just wait for the moment when you can see them and see where they lead.

Looking in the mirror shows how slow ageing is. But when you take photos of yourself on holiday and look at them you see a huge change. Year on year you have aged. You would never see that in the mirror. Even if you looked every minute. Erosion happens at the  size of the smallest shavings. Looking at holiday photos or parties, etc are better than looking in the mirror every day for a sign of ageing. All mirrors lie.

All my poems are jigsaw pieces. Everytime I write one it adds to the path I am creating.

The only competition is within. Poetry is a beautiful community and I feel blessed for being a part of it. Some of the poeple I have met are wonderful. But deep down I have to achieve something. Sometimes I feel a point has to be proved within myself. This is something I cannot explain. If there was a previous life it must have been very disappointing

An apple can be bruised, have fruit flies inside and make you ill if eaten. But if you cut it in half you will see seeds. Those seeds can build a tree. No matter how bad things are something can happen from it.

I am still yet to meet a person who cannot give something to the world. Our school system is very poor. Nothing is worked on the emotions and character building. How many writers lack self-esteem? They're far better than what they think. You can never give up. I have never read one poet who hasn't hit me hard with their poems at some point. And I have sat their and thought 'I wish that was my work'

The farm fields in front of us when we moved here had sheep, fieldfares, starlings and redwings. Then they left and it was empty, but regularly manured. Then came the crows, rooks, jackdaws. Then trimmed. Then empty again. Now it has cows. Soon enough fieldfares and redwings will come back. The grass takes all batterings and hardships. But today, October 14th, it has a wonderful green grace under a blue and white sky.

We paste words from our brains onto paper. Where does the paper come from? Trees.  Where do the words come from? Being alive. If you were given three trees before you started to write as your paper source. And that was it. How many of us would learn quicker?

When I was young I used to think people doing the best things or living great lives were super humans. But as I have aged I have come to realise it's only their work ethic that is different.

When humans leave a place to ruin like a factory, car park, sports stadium, coal mine, and many other things. Nature comes through the concrete and brick. It doesn't care about what we feel or even think. It just carries on growing, multiplying. It has a never give up attitude. Sometimes things appear hard and tough to break through. But if you keep going there will be light.

Perception is like a rapid in a slow moving river. It tries to change the flow but once it has gone through has anything changed? No. Always sit back and let people say what they want about others. Most of the time there is no substance.

Remember when we were kids in infants? One of those art lessons we used to have to do where we had to dip a sponge into a paint tub. Then print the paper. When we picked up the sponge the paint dripped off if full of excess. This will happen with your poems if you let them breath.

When awake you can surround yourself with as many people as you like. But when you close your eyes there's only you.

Having a voice in the world is the same as raindrops falling from the sky. All you can do is hope they water a seed to promote new growth.  

Every night I dip my pen into the ink well that is in my brain.

I cannot wait to wake up the next day and see what flows out.

If you were asked to define your outlook as a writer with a leaf. What would it be? I would expect most people to say 'A leaf in spring as it's starting to bloom' Not me.


I would pick a late summer leaf. Hanging on before autumn turns up and blows you into winter's grave. Have the hanging on a cliff edge attitude. You may find yourself getting more out of your work.

Our biggest enemy is time. Our greatest gift to another human is giving them your time.

Two trains. Both on a 100-mile journey. One does fifty stops the other does none. Which do you think is the best journey regarding your purpose in life?

If you put your faith in someone else's hands, you may find they will drop you for themselves. Be strong and take life on do not rely on others.

If I was asked to re-live my life again knowing everything that has happened, or carry on from this moment. I would carry on. Even if I started again, it would not mean I would have a better life. It may hold me back in terms of courage and discipline that I have today, The feeling of being unhappy years ago would never be felt. That's the fuel for who I am today

I long for the sea, to live by it, to breath it in every day, hear its waves, feel its weight. Sometimes I wonder if in a previous life I was a fish.

If it starts to rain get a chair, a book, a pot of tea and open a window. Let the sky play its songs in your ear. Is there anything more beautiful? When we lived in the jungle, those tip-tap sounds were all around us. It's a way to massage our brain.

I go to the city every Monday for this MFA in Poetry I am doing. When I first went there, I saw sunlight but not the sun. I felt I was in a grave, a city grave. For the time I was there I did not see a bird, a tree in its natural surroundings, or the shape of the sun. Even the sky was only in patches I was glad to get back home. These cities keep getting bigger. The people born here have no idea what they are missing. If they lived with me for a week then went back to the city I am 100% sure they would see what I see. Imagine a human body of skin, bone, muscle and a head and nothing else this is the trouble with cities there's no inner nature.

Before you start tomorrow think of it as a memory, you already have. A good memory that you want to re-live again, we all love to reminisce. What's the point in looking back further than you have to for good memories. Every day is a good memory waiting to happen

You cannot be judged on the good things you do during your life. It will be the wrong things. If we get judged on the right things, then the bad stuff will always be there. As once we've done something wrong we expect to rub it away by doing good, this won't help our lives at all. Our lives should always be 'Don't do bad things'  then good things will ever be done, by nature.

As soon as someone tells you they know a lot. They are already telling you they know nothing. Be aware of people like this.

The worst weapon on this planet is the tongue — a muscle attached at only one end. I have suffered much by people's voice on me as a person. I seem to attract these people. You cannot allow any human to affect your life. Though it is tough people will always take great pleasure in using their inferiority on you as a person. Only this past week I have suffered from this again. Some people do not know the outcome they have on other lives. Always remember your tongue when you go to use it without rational thought.

At birth, we are given a starter kit as a human this could be many emotions that will be with us at the start of life. Over time through experience, we will add feelings and also sharpen or blunt the starter kit we had to begin with. When we change through our time on earth, don't look back and think you wished for a part of who you were twenty years ago. When I was twenty, I was more relaxed than I have ever been. I would like to still be at that stage, but would it be beneficial for my life right now? Also, what sort of experience would I have lost during those twenty years? We add to our starter kit, sometimes we forget some, but what we are right now is down to what life you have led.

God and the Devil are on this planet all the time. They are within us. A right person may have 99% God and 1% Devil inside them. Bad people will have the opposite, but that's the extreme levels. Most people will never have that. These percentages may be based on emotions, actions, reactions, virtues and faults. We have to continually be aware of the good things in us and the bad. There is no heaven and hell. What we are as people is the reason for God and the Devil. They both feed us. Being aware of whom you are and understanding every breath will let you know what sort of percentages you have of both. You will always have 1% of the Devil. That can never change. That 1% can be jealousy or anger or spite or distrust. It doesn't mean you are evil. I have many faults. However, I know God has a more significant percentage.  If all humans were 100% God, then we would lose our sense of virtue

You may look at someone from the front. But never ignore what they might have at the back

If God wanted us to follow a book he would be taking away our freedom. This book then makes him a dictator. I don't believe God wants us to read words. He wants us to sense him through our own body

If there were no need for nature on this planet, then it would die off. Moreover, we would die too. We need each other. Nature needs to be loved to be happy, and Humanity is the only species capable of this.

If God is anything in this world, he is the string on a kite. Through our advance in technology, we have filled our brains with so much thought that God's presence is lessening. Does it prove we need him? How many minutes a day do people think of God? We create our own emotions. Not God. He cannot help us every second, but he can guide us if we let him in

To see yourself sometimes it's good to use someone else's mirror.

It's not that you cannot step into the same river twice, but you cannot live the same second twice. Seconds are the grains in an egg timer.

A cat cannot catch the same bird twice. Everything is the same and different. The worst thing you can expect is the same results in what you do, this will lead to you missing the whole point of what you are doing.